IMAGINE THIS: YOU FINALLY GET TO TELL that story you've been dying to share all day, and your partner reaches into their pocket and begins nonchalantly scrolling through their phone. Despite their assurances that they are 'still listening', it's painfully apparent that their attention is elsewhere. It's a disheartening reality that most of us have experienced, and it can leave us feeling unseen and unheard. Deflated.
“ It's infiltrating our relationships and hindering our ability to connect on a deeper level”
Our reliance on mobile devices has extended beyond the physical implications; it's now infiltrating our relationships and hindering our ability to connect on a deeper level. There's even a term for it - 'phubbing', or phone snubbing. It's a pervasive issue that's undermining the quality of relationships nationwide.
Daily Mail reported 75% of polled women confessed that according to Dr. James Robert, a marketing professor at Baylor University, 46% of 175 students reported feeling salty about cellular interference in their relationships. Not that we need a poll to know this is problematic. We all know someone who’d admit a smartphone love affair has aided in the failure of a relationship or two. If you don't believe it, you should hear the tales told at any girl's night on any given day of the week.
“This is not just about good manners, but also about nurturing your relationships”
While ‘phubbing’ isn’t new, it has become the new normal. We live in a time where groups of friends gather, apparently for the sole purpose of staring at their phones in a common area. A small child can't hold the attention of their parents or siblings zombified by the glowing screen two inches from their faces. How does that shape their developing concept of self-worth?
IN THE QUIET MOMENTS OF THE MORNING, when your partner reaches for their phone before a 'good morning', what does this communicate? While on a date, when your attention drifts to the doom-scroll within your phone, how does that affect the person across the table? This behavior, although unintentional, sends the message that they might not be as important as the virtual world at your fingertips. Which is undeniably hurtful.
If the urge to engage with an absent party via text, or to scroll through an article or social media feed truly overshadows the importance of your present company, it may be better to consider stepping away until you can fully be present. It's not just about good manners, but also about nurturing your relationships.
We are all guilty of occasionally overlooking the richness of the present moment, opting instead for the allure of the world within the black mirror. In our contemporary world, this habit has become an accepted norm. But, as a professional life and relationship coaching practice, we are here to inspire a shift towards embracing the intimacy of the here and now.
This is your wake-up call to untether yourself from the digital cosplay of your life, and nurture your real life relationships, in real time, because there is no substitute for presence. Don't allow your smartphones to kill intimacy in your relationships.Disconnect to reconnect.
Comments